Day three

Another day and another trip to the good, old gym. Today I could only workout for 30 minutes because the gym closes at 5. I didn't get off work until about 4:10 and then I still had to drive there. I debated about not going and then thought that even if I only got in 20 minutes of exercise it would be better than nothing. I did 30, so I'm happy with that. I am proud of myself for going. It would have been so easy not to go. So, today is day 3 in a row that I've gone. I don't know when the last time that I went to the gym 3 days in a row was. I am liking it. I am liking feeling better about myself. Even though I know there is no physical change as of yet, there is a mental change. The mental change is what I need. The physical change will come.
I don't think that I'll be going tomorrow. I am hoping to spend the day tomorrow with my man and if that's the case there won't be time for a gym visit. We will go on at least one good, long walk with the dog so I'll get my exercise that way.

I went back

Day 2 of going to the gym. I went back today. I am proud of myself. It is so dark when I get off work so I feel like I should just go home and go to bed. It is 5:30 and it is pitch dark. I wanted to head home after work but I knew that I'd be mad at myself if I did.
I packed my stuff so that I could go straight to the gym after work. I know that if I head home there is no way that I'll turn around and go back into town. I went to the gym and did a 20 minute tanning session. I know it seems weird to tan right now, especially since I pretty have no tan left but I thought that the heat of the lights would warm me up. Plus, it is a good way for me to relax. It is only 20 minutes but I feel rejuvenated after it. I don't tan very often, I just do it as a treat. It makes me feel a bit better about myself. I think it makes me look better. After my tanning session, I did the elliptical for 30 minutes, the stairstepper for 15 minutes and then the treadmill for 30 minutes. I felt like I accomplished something.
I am planning on going to the gym tomorrow too. I am scheduled to get off work at 4 but if it is busy then I won't. If I have to stay at work then I won't be able to go because it closes at 5 on Saturday. I don't know if I'll go on Sunday either. I am planning on spending the day with my man. If I do then I know that we'll get in at least one good walk with the dog so that will be some exercise.

ahhhh, the gym

I went to the gym today. I don't know when I was there last. It has to have been a couple of weeks. I love the gym. Actually, I don't love the gym, but I do love the feeling of working out. I love the feeling of a sense of accomplishment when I'm done my workout. I feel so much better when I exercise.
I had the day off today and I was warm and comfortable at home. I was in a bad mood though. There wasn't a good reason for my bad mood other than the nagging feeling that I needed to exercise. So, I got dressed and headed out the door. Before I knew it I was on the elliptical machine and I had a big smile on my face.
I did the elliptical machine for 60 minutes and then walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes. According to the machine's calorie counters I burned over 900 calories. It was a very good feeling.
I have been gaining weight and not exercising lately. I have started to not feel very good about my body and I can feel myself slipping down an ugly path. I need to stop that now. I have been eating badly lately. The combination of not exercising and eating a lot is a very, very bad thing. When I work out I tend to eat better. I need to go to the gym more. I need to go tomorrow.

stressed

I am stressed. I can feel myself getting more and more overwhelmed and yet I seem to think that I can keep taking on more things. I am just waiting for one of the things that I take on to pan out and make my big break. Right now I'm working 5-6 days a week, taking an online class, and writing for 2 different web sites. I also want to spend time with my boyfriend.
Each week I say that I'm going to get more organized and stop procrastinating as much as I did the previous week. It really isn't working. I'm procrastinating and getting behind and stressing out. Today for example I've got to finish my weekly reading for my class, turn in my project before midnight, clean the house for my mom's visit and go to my boyfriend's house for dinner and then hang out there tonight. I don't get to see my boyfriend all that much so when I do I like to take advantage of it. When I am with him I don't care about all of the other things. When I am with him I don't work on any of my writing projects or my class but my stress is gone. I just love being with him. I don't care about all of my deadlines when I am with him. That is probably not a good thing. I probably should get more done before going and hanging out with him, but I can't help the fact that I really love being with him. When I am with him that is the only time that I feel like I can relax. That is the only time that I feel like I don't have to be on my computer working on something.
Every day I look online for writing jobs. When I see a freelance job that takes only 5-10 hours a week it interests me. For some reason I think that on top of what I'm doing I can take on more and more. Eventually I want to just write. I don't want to work at the stores any more. I want a full-time writing job. That is why I am taking the classes. I am working on my Technical Communication Certificate. I want to be a Technical Writer. All of these little jobs that I am taking on right now are helping me get practice writing again. I have been out of the writing groove for years. I need to get back in it.
It will all pay off one day. I know that it will. I need to start being more realistic about what I can handle. I don't want to stop looking for jobs and writing gigs though because I don't know which one may be the big break that I need. Once I get my "real" writing job I will be able to relax. Until then I guess I have to try my best to be realistic, organized and logical. I need to realize when I am asking too much of myself.

starting again

Today was a good day. I ate breakfast. I brought my lunch to work -- and ate it. I went to the gym after work and worked out for 60 minutes. I ran for 20 minutes, walked for 5 and did the elliptical for 35. I was sweating up a storm. It felt great. I didn't spend any money today. I drank water. I had a light dinner. I may make popcorn later for a snack. All in all it was a good day.

I weighed myself at the gym today and I've officially gained about 7 pounds. That's bad! Good thing I'm tackling the problem now before it gets completely out of hand. I know that if I get back on the right eating track and back to exercising I'll lose the weight and continue to lose. I have been quite gluttonous and lazy recently. I guess I should just be happy that I've only gained 7 pounds. It could be a lot worse.

I've got to start losing

The time has come when I've got to get serious about losing weight again. I did a good job for a while and exercised and lost weight. I got comfortable and stopped really caring about what I was eating and stopped exercising as much. I have to get back to caring and thinking about what I eat and exercising more. I go for walks quite often but that isn't the same as running and working out at the gym. I am starting to get discouraged when I get dressed for work because things are starting to get a bit tighter. I can still wear everything but my clothes aren't as loose as they were before. I don't think it will take that much to get back to where I was and where I was feeling good -- and sexy.

A couple of things that I need to do are:
* drink more water -- I don't drink nearly enough water. I am not drinking nearly enough liquids in general.
* stop eating out -- I tend to eat out at lunch when I'm working. That needs to stop. I need to make my own lunches and bring them to work. I have to stop ordering out because I'm too lazy to make myself lunch. Making my own lunch will save me calories and money.
* exercise -- I need to go to the gym more regularly. I have a lot on my plate right now and I don't have a lot of time. I can go to the gym on my way home from work even if it is for a 30-minute workout.
* proud of myself moments -- I need to start thinking more positively about me and the efforts that I am making. I am a lot healthier and more active than I was a year ago so I should give myself some credit. I do get exercise even it if is just walking the dog. Every day there is a reason to think positively and be proud of myself. I need to remember that.

Today's proud of me moment (pomm!):
* I had a couple of opportunities to go out to eat today or just go through the drive-thru to grab something quick to eat but I didn't. I went to the grocery store and bought the couple of items that I needed and left. I didn't buy extra things and I didn't buy junk food. It made me feel good.

Water intake was up today. I drank at least 2 litres. I only had one cup of coffee and I didn't have any soda.

Food intake:
* breakfast -- fried egg (with Pam) and 2 pieces of bread
* snack -- 2 scones
* lunch/afternoon snack -- doritos w/salsa and sour cream
* dinner -- pasta with chicken, onions and garlic

Not the healthiest day of eating but I did eat breakfast, which is a good thing. I know I need to get more vegetables and fruits in.

I'm feeling better about myself already. This is a good thing.

Don't even know them

I don't know the Biggest Loser contestants but they make me cry regardless. It could be that I'm tired and it is making me emotional. I haven't watched the show in the past but I think this year I will. It is very motivating. It is hard to snack and watch the show.

There was no way I was going to go to the gym today. I am impressed that I made it through the day. I drank way too much wine last night and was feeling hungover. All I wanted to do was come home from work. The day drug on and on. It seemed like every hour took at least 3 hours. It is over though, thank goodness! There's no need to drink that much wine. I know better. It just tasted so good and it was a fun night. I think I did a pretty good job hiding the fact that I wasn't feeling that great. I just kept thinking that I'll feel better tomorrow.

I am planning on going to kickboxing tomorrow. I haven't been in a long time. I know it will be tough and I'll be sore but I will love it.

Didn't want to go

I didn't want to go to the gym today. I almost talked myself out of going. I got off work a little after 4 and the gym closes at 5 so I knew that I couldn't spend much time there. I told my co-worker that I was going to go so I felt like I had to. Isn't it sad that I'll be more accountable to others than to myself? I brought my clothes to workout and I had to drive by the gym on my way home. So, short story long...I went. I ran/walked at an incline for 30 minutes. I feel like the fast walking at a high incline is almost harder than just running at no incline. I use the random program on the treadmill and when the incline is 1 or below then I run. If the incline is 1.5 or higher I walk. I think it is a good way of mixing things up. I walk at 4.0 and run at 5.2 -- on average. I am going to try and go to the gym both tomorrow and Monday. It is definitely doable.
I've started to really seriously look for a new job. I've sent my resume out to a couple of places. I am finally finding jobs that I think I would like and that I am qualified to do. I haven't seen many jobs that I thought I'd really like and now there are a couple. I sure hope I get some positive responses to my resume. I will be very sad if I don't. I have the skills, education and experience that many of these job postings are looking for. Looking for jobs is scary and depressing. I hate it. I take rejection personally even though I know I shouldn't. Sometimes there isn't a good reason why they hire one person over another.